my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
