everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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