I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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