if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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