Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
