Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
