I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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