I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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