Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Vodka?
Forever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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