i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
