So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
