so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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