super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
