We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
