I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
