my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
