well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drake has all the answers
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
