What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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