So drunk its hurt
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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