she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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