So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize