ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
