you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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