OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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