I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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