who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
