Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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