Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
