Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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