I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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