Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize