party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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