too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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