New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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