i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
