Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
