that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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