I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
