i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
