So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
