at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
