drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
