sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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