i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.