What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.