Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
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I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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