So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
