fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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