We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
