i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
where are my eyebrows?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
