OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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