i'm signing you up for texting rehab
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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