Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
