Don't you send me to vm
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
