ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
