wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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