Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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