Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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