Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
